Boo's First Day of Kindergarten!

The night before Boo's big day, I was a nervous wreck. Ok, the whole day. Ok. Week. FINE....MONTH! Sheesh! Thankfully, I was the only one showing signs of anxiety. I packed up his lunchbox with a large variety of items, not knowing what he would be willing to eat come lunch time. I sent peanut butter, sandwich crackers, graham crackers, fruity cheerios, a granola bar, fruit snacks, a blueberry muffin, yogurt, and a Capri Sun. I set it in the fridge and went to bed...and tossed and turned.

The next morning, when it was time to wake him, he did not want to get out of bed. He informed me that he did not need school, and he would just sleep all day. This is the same kid who woke me up at 5:30 am just the day before! I tried everything I could think of to motivate him...finally I stumbled upon just the right thing. I reminded him that his backpack was filled with his supplies for school, and I told him that one of the pencils I had put in his pencil box had SPIDERMAN on it! I invited him to come with me and check out the pencil, and that was all it took. We looked at all his pencils, repacked his backpack, and put on his favorite Spiderman outfit. After that, it was all I could do to keep him in the house long enough to get my shoes on and grab my keys. He was on his way!

It was a thirty minute drive to his school. My stomach was churning. About halfway there, he suddenly announced "I don't want you there." I assured him that I wasn't planning to stay, just to walk him to his classroom and get him settled. He rebuffed me. "I know where my classroom is, Mom." So I just told him that I needed to talk with Mrs. W and he was satisfied. We arrived at the school and Boo marched right in the front door without even checking to see if I was with him.

Just inside the door sat a lovely lady, Mrs. M, whose sole responsibility at school is to greet each child as they enter, give them a hug and greet them with the heart-felt words "God loves you and so do I, have a great day." She has been doing this as a loving volunteer for many years. She is 90 years old, and the kindest soul. Boo seemed a little distrustful of her eagerness and turned down the offer of a hug. But when she told me that she offers them to parents also, I gladly accepted. I told her I really needed one that day. And I did!

Each year Mrs. W chooses a different theme for her classroom for the year. This year's theme is Whales: We Have a Loving, Everlasting Savior. There are whales everywhere! Beginning here, outside the classroom, and all over the place inside. It looks totally awesome. We entered the room and Boo began to wander around happily. He was checking everything out, just doing his own thing. When he saw the reading area with the big pile of pillows, he could not resist diving right in.

He gazed longingly out at the playground.

He and Mrs. W investigated how dark it is inside the bathroom if you close the door without turning on the light. (She was trying to tell him the importance of remembering to turn on the light switch outside the bathroom before entering, and he assured her that he could see in the dark because of his great eyesight. LOL)

I finally got him focused on the job at hand. Together, we found the desk with his name on it, and filled it with the school supplies from his backpack. When he first opened the top of the desk, his eyes widened and he exclaimed "This is my secret lab! This is where I keep all my things that control my robots!"

Once this was accomplished, there was no putting it off. It was time for me to go. I had to leave my baby in his kindergarten classroom for an entire day. I took a deep breath, gave him a kiss, and said goodbye. I walked to the door, looked back across the class, and choked back tears. There sat my Boo in his big kid chair at his big kid desk in his big kid school. I was SO NOT READY for this! But he was. It was clear he was ready. He barely took notice that I was leaving. I walked out into the hallway and found some other mothers and staff out there who chatted with me. I wanted to run out the door and let out the sobs that were pushing at my throat. Another mother of a child in Boo's class joined the conversation, and she asked me if I was still in the room when Boo made his announcement. Mental head slap...oh boy. I said I hadn't been, and asked what he said. She told me he had stood and informed the class that whales are actually called orcas, and that they are really a type of dolphin. Yep, not even five minutes into the first day and he was trying to lead the class. That is the Boo that I know and love!

Soon it was time for chapel. The students begin the day with chapel every Wednesday, and the parents were invited to join. I waited in the lunch room so that Boo could go with his class and not be distracted by seeing me. I came into the sanctuary and he was seated so still and quietly with his class that I had to do a double take.

I sat in the back and swallowed back tears as they began the morning by singing these songs:

At the end of the chapel service, the children were asked to meet out front for class pictures. Oh boy. I did not expect this on the very first day. I had not prepared Boo. He hates having his picture taken. He almost always refuses to cooperate. I hung back and watched him go out with his class, hoping that going with the crowd would work in our favor. Sure enough, by the time I got outside, he was posing pleasantly with the other kids. His combined kindergarten/1st grade class is composed of eight girls and two boys. They are all totally adorable. After the class pictures I hugged him one more time and wished him a good day. Then I told him to go back to class with his friends. He walked down the sidewalk hand in hand with Mrs. W, never so much as glancing back toward me. I sighed. Then I thought again of this sign hanging just inside the front door:

And I knew that my Boo was in exactly the right place.

Independence Day Highs and Lows

Overall, we had a very happy fourth of July. We hope you did too. This morning we ran a few errands and hit the fireworks stand, where Boo picked out several likely looking explosives. We spent the afternoon playing and baking. Then in the early evening, we headed over to Grandpa's house for the weekly family barbecue. It just so happened that this fabulous holiday fell on our regular barbecue night, so my dad decided to go all out.

This is a half-scale replica of a civil war cannon, made by my grandfather

When I was a child, my grandfather and my father belonged to a club which had as one of its activities, regular themed camp outs called rendezvous. At a rendezvous, you camped with only clothing and equipment that would have been available to early Americans before a specified date. (which date I am uncertain of, precisely) With the notable exception of coolers with food and ice, and cans of beer. LOL I remember these events with great fondness. My cousin and I were probably around ages 4 and 6, and our grandma sewed us special dresses and bonnets to wear. We called them our Little House on the Prairie dresses. There were interesting characters, all manor of tents, fascinating clothes, and horses. I remember what a treat it was to walk to a neighboring tent where a friend of my grandparents sold two lemon drops for a penny. I remember my grandpa, Dad, and my uncle looking so handsome in their outfits. I remember the tomahawk throwing competitions, black powder rifle contests, and the highlight, cannon shooting competitions. I am told that Grandpa never lost a competition in which he entered the cannon pictured above, which he built himself. I remember the thrill of the cannon being shot. The excitement, the reverberation of the shot vibrating in my chest, the smell of the gunpowder, the waft of smoke. My grandfather suffered a massive heart attack when I was quite young. By the grace of God he survived, but he was forced to give up a number of activities he loved, including the rendezvous. That cannon hasn't been shot since 1986...until today!

When Dad announced last week that he had decided to shoot the cannon for the fourth, my cousins and I were instantly transformed into a bunch of eight year olds. I have been looking forward to this day ever since. But in the back of my mind there lingered a touch of apprehension about how Boo would react. I arrived at Dad's house a bit early to see if I could be of any help. He got up on a ladder and pulled down a large plastic back from the storage area in the top of his shop. He passed it down to me, and I peeked inside.

I looked in and there were Grandpa's rendezvous hats. It took me by such surprise. Dad hadn't told me he was getting them out. It was a great joy, but tinged with the pang of sadness. My grandpa left this world six years, one month, and one day ago. I miss him so very much. Looking in that bag, it was like he was with us again in a way. My heart jumped and I had to choke back tears. Happy tears, grateful for the wonderful memories he left me, with which to remember him. Soon the rest of the family arrived, and my cousins and I each chose a hat, and wore it the rest of the evening, in the spirit of the day.

When our dinner was done, we all headed out to gather around the cannon. We listened as Dad reviewed the safety rules and procedures. He called for the "powder monkey" and my youngest cousin did the honors. The steps were explained. First, a long stick with some material on the end (what looked like maybe wool? I didn't ask.) was dunked in a bucket of water and passed down into the cannon barrel for a "wet swab." Next, another stick with a sort of iron spiral on the end, known as the "screw" was stuck into the barrel, to pull out any particles that may have remained there from the previous shot. Then another wet swab. Wearing large fireproof protective gloves, the powder money holds the shot (a measured amount of gunpowder wrapped in a cone of aluminum foil of specific diameter) at the end of the barrel, and the rifleman pushes it to the back of the barrel with another stick-like instrument. (These all probably have technical terms of which I am unaware) Then, the firing thing (which I did know the name of earlier tonight, but have forgotten) is inserted into a tiny hole at the top of the barrel. When the firing thing is struck it creates the spark which ignites the gunpowder. Grandpa used to have a mechanism devised for doing so with the pull of a cord. That mechanism has gone missing in the long years since we last fired the cannon, so there was a bit of improvisation. Firing the cannon by hitting the top of it with an aluminum baseball bat might not be the most authentic, but it's a heck of a lot of fun! So we were all set to blow the first shot. I called Boo to me and covered his ears, and we let him do the countdown so that he knew exactly when to expect the noise and could feel in control of it. BOOM! Boo's eyes lit up, he smiled ear to ear and shouted "Do that AGAIN!" I was totally floored, and absolutely thrilled. He remained for the next five shots, holding his ears and providing a countdown for each. My dad, my uncle, and each of us cousins took our turns "at bat." It was exhilarating, and I know my grandpa would be so proud of us for putting his cannon to use once again. And for instilling the love of it to the next generation.

My aunt caught this amazing shot of my turn to fire! How cool is that?

After that, it was back to more traditional forms of Independence Day fun. My cousin introduced Boo to her favorite kind of firework, snakes! He really enjoyed them. He laughed and said they look like poop. Leave it to a five year old. LOL

The best part of snakes, apparently, is crushing them to bits with a stick when they are done.

At one point, Boo asked me how to spell Grandpa. Later I found this written in the sand. It doesn't show well in the picture, but it was awesome!

I also introduced Boo to colored smoke balls and poppers, both of which were a big hit. At dusk we broke out the sparklers. As soon as Boo's was lit he threw it on the ground and ran screaming. Once we showed him how to work them he loved them, but refused to hold them. But my cousins and I acted like the big kids we are at heart and had great fun with them. Then the barbecue broke up and we headed home to shoot off our own fireworks. Boo became even more excited as we drove into town and he saw all the bright sparks in the air all around. He kept talking about how much he loved fireworks and how pretty they are. We got home, got out our bags of explosives, filled our emergency water bucket, and waited for my cousins to arrive. But as the fireworks all around town began to reach a crescendo, so did Boo's anxiety. With every report, every squeal, every crackle, he grew more tense and fearful. Covering his ears was no help. We managed to get through only one of our fireworks before he was completely overwhelmed and ran crying into the house. I went in and set him on a chair in front of the large picture window, where he would have a view of our fireworks without the intensity of the noise. This lasted a little while, but eventually he lost it completely. I had to take a break and come in with him. He was running through the house shrieking, not able to find any place where the sound of the explosions outside was completely muffled. After a great effort, we got him settled in his bed, under his weighted blanket, with his leap pad game to drown out the other noises. He was still agitated, but he could tolerate it. I went outside with my cousins and we finished blowing stuff up, and then said good night.

It took me a while to quiet Boo enough for sleep. He was antsy and agitated, and every little noise was like poking him with a needle. Finally exhaustion took over and his eyelids fluttered closed. I lay beside him watching his precious face. I felt elated at all he had accomplished in the day. I mean, the kid watched a cannon being shot. A freaking CANNON. Multiple times. And loved it! That's HUGE in our world. But the key was that it was one shot at a time, he knew when it was coming, and he was given some control over it. When it came to the fireworks, the sounds and sensations were coming from everywhere at once. There was no reprieve, no time between explosions to reset himself, no way to know when or from where the next shot would come. And the joy of sharing this wonderful day with my son was also pierced with frustration. Not because I was frustrated at him  or by him. Rather, I was frustrated that something that is typically such a simple pleasure of childhood would, for him, have to be a source of pain and anxiety. And I wondered if next year would be a little better. In the end, though, I can't escape the fact that this day was a tremendous success. 





My Mathmatician

Math is something that I have always loved. It always just came so naturally to me, like second nature. I still love doing math. Nothing thrills me more than for one of my younger cousins or my friends children to call me up and ask for help with their algebra. I love it because it is rational and concrete. There is no gray area, no room for personal interpretation. There is one correct answer and there is a way to find it. There is no analyzing, no conjecture, no supposition. Apparently, my son shares this love and natural ability with me.

By the time his preschool year was over, he was already doing basic addition. He picked up the concept easily, and was a pro at adding single digit numbers together. At some point, I had introduced him to the concept of subtraction, but didn't really push it too much. Then, in preparation for our recent family reunion trip, I bought him a new game for his leap pad. The Penguins of Madagascar, Operation Plushy Rescue. The packaging said that the game works on skills of animal facts, patterns, more than, less than, addition, and subtraction. The basic game play is similar to old school Nintendo. The game play is punctuated with puzzles to solve and questions to answer. He played the game incessantly for two days, never once asking for help with any of the challenges. In no time flat, he had mastered subtraction, addition and subtraction involving two digit numbers, and even basic algebraic equations! (like 9+?=10) I didn't even realize how well he was doing at first.

Last night at bedtime, he was quizzing me with math problems, which is one of his favorite things to do. I was quizzing him back also. I asked "what is fifteen minus two?" Without hesitation he answered "thirteen, because it takes away the fifteen and the fourteen." Wow. He doesn't use fingers, doesn't count in his head, he just answers. He knows it by rote, yes, but he also gets it. He understands the relationships between the numbers. There was more evidence of this today when we picked up his friend Little Britches. In the car on the way back to our house, he was showing his new game to his friend. LB got to a point in the game where he needed to answer a math problem. It was subtraction. The game asked what is six minus three. LB asked what does minus mean? Boo answered him, "it means taking away something." I further explained this way. "If you have six of something, and you take three of them away, how many would you have left?" Boo responded, "three, because three plus three equals six."

Not only am I stunned that he has attained this level of understanding before he even enters kindergarten, I am blown away that it all has just come easily and naturally to him. It's not something he's been purposefully taught. He just picked it up. Just the way he did letters, numbers, letter sounds, and reading. The kid is scary smart. I'm not sure I'm going to be able to keep up with him by the time he's in sixth grade!

Bye Bye Binky!

A few months ago, there was a furious exchange of texts between Boos Mom and Mammo. The gist of the conversation was "OMG! Elmo is giving up his binky on Sesame Street!!!" We were especially excited about this because Boo was LONG overdue to give up his binky as well. We had worked our way down to convincing him that he could ONLY use it for bedtime, and only while laying in his bed. No mid-day rest time on the couch, no using it to soothe after a meltdown or injury. I comforted myself with the idea that most of the time, once he fell asleep, the binky would fall out of his mouth, so the amount of damage being done to his mouth/teeth was minimal. Of course, I knew this was a giant load of crap, but it made me feel better. Besides, I was making no inroads at all into the idea of giving up the binky completely, and I knew instinctively that this was not a battle I should choose.

Boo has never been motivated by the idea of being a "big kid" or growing up. (With the exception of being thoroughly convinced that he would gain overnight the ability to beat his classmate in a foot race once he turned five.) I had been unable to find anything that would motivate him at all toward the idea of giving up the binky. I approached all the old standby stuff, the binky fairy, taking it away cold turkey, etc. The only one I didn't do was to cut off the tip, because again, I knew instinctively that doing so would produce a bedtime $%*! storm. So Mammo and I watched him watch Elmo talk about this milestone and chewed our fingernails in hope. We hoped that this song would worm its way into his mind like it did ours, and the idea would start to take root.

After I knew he had seen the segment a few times, I started to introduce the idea that someday he wouldn't need his binky anymore. It was a gentle thing. Never asked him to give it up NOW. But I knew his birthday was coming soon. So when I gave him the bink at bedtime I started to tell him that "one day you will be so big that you won't need this anymore." I left it at that. Then after a while, I mentioned that babies use binkies and big kids don't, and one day he would be big enough not to need it. Every time I used this sort of language I used it while giving him the binky so that he didn't feel that he was being pressured to let it go now. Just trying to get him thinking about it. It's all baby steps! After a while, I tried applying a time stamp to this concept. I suggested that when he turned five he wouldn't need the binky anymore. That's when I started to see resistance, so I backed off a bit. I didn't talk about it every night, but did mention it a few more times. But the resistance got stronger, so I stopped talking about it. The last thing I wanted to do was create anxiety surrounding his birthday and suck the joy out of turning five. So I stopped talking about it.

Then, the night before his birthday, I got ballsy brave. As I handed him the binky, I reminded him that the next day he would be five. I then simply asked him "So what will that mean tomorrow night?" To my astonishment, he replied "I won't need my binky." He was so matter-of-fact about it. I was stunned and proud. But also, I knew better. I knew there was no way it was going to be that easy. The day that he officially turned five was a big and fun day! By bedtime, Boo was exhausted. I took a deep breath, and when he asked for his binky, I reminded him that he was five now, and therefore did not need it. He began to cry and beg, but not as badly as I anticipated. We managed to compromise by allowing him to use it while we read books, and then put it away for sleep. So on his fifth birthday he fell asleep without the binky. He did cry about it a bit, and asked for it several times. He told me repeatedly that his mouth was uncomfortable. But he fell asleep.

The next night, I refused to give it to him during book time. I explained that now that he is a big kid, the bink, which is made for babies, can damage his teeth if he continues to use it. This threw him for a loop. I could see he was really considering that. He did not like the idea of any "damage" to his body. We somehow managed to get through bedtime without much credible resistance. It helped also that once again, it had been a big day, and he was extra tired. Over the next week, his requests for the binky quickly dwindled. It didn't take long for him to quit mentioning it at all. When he did, he insisted that his mouth was uncomfortable, and asked me "what am I going to munch on?" But it never once came to the point of a meltdown, or even a credible threat of one. Not even so much as a tantrum. I was stunned. I made one facebook post about it on the night of his birthday, but other than that I maintained public silence on the issue. I didn't want to press my luck, or to eat my words. I wasn't sure this would hold.

I hid all the binkies in my sock drawer where he would happen to see him and be reminded of them, but where they would be easily accessible in the event of a middle-of-the-night binky emergency. I haven't taken them out since. Every week or so Mammo would tentatively ask me "is he still going to bed without the bink?" Yep! We were both proud and amazed, but also kind of waiting for the other shoe to fall. Well, tonight will be the 25th night in a row that my Boo goes to sleep with nothing in his mouth but what God gave him. I didn't think I would ever see this day happen. I'm so proud of Boo, and so thankful that I was so lucky.

How about you? Did you/your child have difficulties giving up certain aspects of baby-hood? Share your stories with me!

Boo's First Dentist Appointment!

Boo is extremely orally sensitive. He always has been. Keeping his teeth brushed has always been difficult, and if I am really brutally honest, I haven't always made much of an effort to even try. I know, I know, so don't bother lecturing me. Back when he was almost two I had started the process of finding him a dentist, but before he ever had an appointment I suddenly got laid off from my job and poof, we had no insurance. Fast forward three years and there he is happily jumping away in the bounce house in our back yard at his fifth birthday party. Then suddenly he is wailing and running to me. He had somehow fallen face first into another kid's back and hurt his mouth. He was very upset about it. Later after the excitement was over he again complained about his mouth. When I got a better look, I saw that one of his bottom incisors was missing a big chunk of enamel! Uh oh.

The very next business day I started calling around for referrals. I needed a dentist who "gets it." I wasn't about to just pick someone out of a phone book. I checked out the website of one of the practices that was recommended and fell in love. I called to set an appointment and of course, they had no openings until October. Five months. I took it, and hoped that we wouldn't experience any trouble before then. Monday afternoon I got a phone call. It was the dentist office. They said that they had a cancellation and they would like to offer it to Boo. Great! When? Tomorrow! I had less than 24 hours to prepare my son for his first ever dental visit! But I knew I would be a fool not to take the chance. So Tuesday afternoon Mammo came over and we all got in the car and headed to town, fingers, toes, legs, and eyeballs crossed.

I had showed Boo the website. Showed him the pictures of the reception desk, waiting area, and treatment areas. The home page had a monkey hanging from a tree and brushing its teeth, which Boo found hilarious. I also showed him pictures of the doctor he would be seeing. I told him that if he let the doctor count his teeth, he could choose any reward he wanted. I prepared myself to shell out twenty buck I could ill-afford for the much coveted wall tracks expansion, but Boo announced that for his reward he would like to have reece's pieces. He was thrilled to play in the waiting room, but as soon as his name was called, he morphed into Clingy McScreamerson. I carried him down the hallway to the exam room. Instead of dental chairs, they simply have small beds that lay flat. He refused to even consider sitting on it. He was trying to climb inside my skin. But then he noticed something on the ceiling. A TV was mounted above the exam area, pointing straight down, and on it was playing Despicable Me! How cool is that? He asked about it and the girl showed him a set of wireless earphones. Of course, he refused to even consider wearing them, but I feigned excitement and put them on myself. Hey! I can hear the movie! He still didn't want to wear them so I set them down and pretended to ignore him while I answered questions and discussed his history and my concerns with the assistant. Before I knew it....

He had the headphones on. This, they boy who has literally refused any attempts to put anything on his head (except his hoodies) since birth, was wearing headphones. I pretended that I didn't even notice, and continued talking with the assistant. Next thing you know...

He never really got all the way up on the exam bed, but he was close. He did sit on it at one point. I simply never made a big deal out of it. He then started messing with the buttons on the headphones and soon they weren't working right. I put them on and I was hearing a different movie. I told the girl that they were playing Cars. Boo got excited and asked if he could see Cars instead and she changed the movie to Cars. They chatted a bit about his love of Lightning McQueen, and next thing I knew, she grabbed her tiny microphone hanging from her tiny earpiece (think Hollywood Secret Service), pushed a button, and said "can you get us a bag with a Lightning McQueen toothbrush please." And POOF, another lady appeared in the door and handed over a small bag containing said toothbrush, some toothpaste and some floss. Boo was totally excited by the toothbrush. Then the girl started talking to Boo about all the special tools they use and asked if he wanted to check them out. She presented him with a small dental mirror.

He took it from her, checked it out, and told her "this reflects whatever is in front of it," and then used it to watch Cars on the ceiling. I was equal parts amused and amazed by their exchange. Soon after that the doctor came in. They chatted easily. After she and the assistant conversed briefly, she showed Boo her special glasses with magnifying glasses in them. He was enthralled. She asked if he wanted to try them, and I almost feel out of my chair when he said yes.

He didn't wear it long. As she and I talked at length, Boo noticed the dental light that was hanging down from the ceiling. This what where they REALLY impressed me. They let him play with it to his heart's content, switching it on and off, moving it all around, barely even reacting when he kept shining it directly in the doctor's eyes by accident. This kept him distracted while she discussed his diet and oral hygiene habits with me, recommending some products that could help protect against cavities, and giving me absolutely no pressure about the nature of his eating habits and the rarity of his brushing.

After that, she showed him her blue gloves and let him watch her put them on, and feel the texture of them. Then she showed him her mask, holding it in front of her, then explaining to him as she hooked it over her ears, then pulled it up to cover her mouth and nose. She then put on her glasses again and let him get comfortable with the way she looked.

He never did allow her to touch him, and she never pushed the issue. She gave him a hand-held mirror and asked him to look at his own teeth, and she got as good a look as she could while he did so. I then reminded him of the promised reward, and the dentist mentioned that she had an airplane she could give him when he was done. He zeroed in on that airplane idea. I told him if he wanted to earn his reward he had to let the doctor look at just one of his teeth. He was sitting in my lap facing me, and I turned my back to the doctor so she could see him. I asked him which tooth the doctor could look at. He opened his mouth wide and pointed to one way in the back, which gave her another peek inside the mouth. He then clamped shut and totally shut down, trying to climb inside my skin once again. It was apparent to me that he was done. That was all the cooperation we were going to get out of him that day. To my amazement, it seemed apparent to the doctor as well.

She then told me that she was totally happy to stop at that point and call it a successful appointment, and try to get a little further next time. She said that she had gotten a pretty good look at the chipped tooth and was not concerned about it. She also got a look at some of the molars and said she was happy with them, and didn't see much plaque or anything that concerned her, which astounded me. She also blew me away when she mentioned that they are working on creating a social story for their practice, including pictures of all the areas and pictures of both the doctors in the practice wearing their "gear." We discussed our plan for going forward and decided to try again in three months and see how we do. She also said that they have a lot of parents of "spectrum kids" who simply stop by when they are in the area sometimes, just to have another pressure-free, stress-free point of contact with the kids to build positive experiences and memories. The entire time we were there I felt as though they had all the time in the world for us, and more compassion and understanding than I had ever dreamed.

Boo indeed received his promised toy plane, and though he left the office in tears (because we didn't have time to play in the waiting room some more) once we were on the road and I asked him what he thought of the dentist, he cheerfully announced that it was great! He was looking at the package the plane came in, and it showed six different models. He said he wanted to get a different one next time, and he wanted to get one every time till he has them all. Sounds like a plan to me, little man! I couldn't be prouder!

Field Trip, Boo Style

Tuesday was Boo's big class field trip. As with all his preschool field trips, both the 3-4 year old class and the 4-5 year old class went together, along with parents and siblings, making us quite the noisy and chaotic group. Unlike the other few field trips taken during the school term, this one did not fit withing the time frame of the normal three hour school day. This one included taking a lunch! This is the same trip that we took last year when he was in the 3-4 class, so it helped that he and I both knew what to expect. But what helped most was the fact that I have been able to adjust my expectations with these kinds of events. Now, instead of pushing him to participate in the same way as his classmates for fear he will "miss out" on some vital part of his childhood, I am able to realize that my boy knows his limits. He knows what he can manage and how, and more importantly, he knows what he can't handle. And I have learned to listen. So this time, I was able to relax and allow Boo to have fun and participate in his way, and to experience his childhood. It didn't always look like everyone else's field trip, but that's OK. Because what better gift can we give our children than the permission, freedom, and security to be themselves?

We began by meeting at school and getting our instructions. Then we drove to the local zoo. Since we are a small private preschool, we don't go together in a bus. The teacher drives a van, with any students whose parents couldn't come. The parents either drive themselves or carpool together. So there was a big caravan going down the highway. The entire time, Boo was obsessed with the fact that we were behind Little Britches. He wanted me to hurry up and pass him. He insisted it was a race. Finally, when he learned that still more cars were behind us, he became satisfied with being in fourth place because hey, at least we weren't last! We arrived at the zoo and were waiting in the parking lot for everyone else to arrive. The kids were playing and talking together. A couple other mothers were putting sunblock on their kids since it was a very hot and sunny day. I mentally kicked myself for not thinking of sunblock. One of the moms offered me the stick sunblock for his face. I thanked her and tried to apply it, but he recoiled and screamed at me. I tried to reason with him and show him that his friends were putting it on so they wouldn't get sunburned. He requested to get the spray sunblock like another boy did, and the other mom was kind enough to spray him down. I was shocked that he stood happily still while she sprayed his arms, legs, neck, ears, and then used her fingers to apply some to his face. I made a mental note to attempt to hire her for all future summer-time outings.

With that, we headed toward the zoo entrance. Boo and Little Britches were hand-in-hand of course. Our first stop was the "pavilion" where we attended an animal presentation. This consisted of a series of animals being shown while the zoo keeper talked briefly about them, then gave the kids a chance to touch them. Boo was engaged at first, but as the keeper droned on she quickly lost his attention. Instead of trying to keep him focused on what she was saying, I watched for any signs that he was ready to bolt and just made sure he wasn't disruptive. Because, let's face it, how important is it really that he knows what a woodchuck's favorite food is? Other than chanting a few times about how much wood a woodchuck can chuck, he stayed pretty well settled. He politely declined to touch most of the animals, and I let that one go too. Because it's more important that he have a happy and fun field trip than that I get a picture of him touching a Madagascar hissing cockroach.

When the animal show was over, it was time for the highlight of the entire trip. (At least for Boo) A ride on the zoo train! This is just a small local free zoo, so the train ride isn't elaborate. There are no animals to look at, just some animal statues. But it's an actual train, with a conductor, a whistle, and actual tracks. We even went through a tunnel! (kind of a glorified shed which holds all manor of parts, tools, and supplies. Boo was excited to point out the bottle of Gatorade he saw sitting on a shelf!) After the train ride, we headed in to the zoo. The first stop where the kids gathered was the pond. I gave Boo a quarter to buy fish/bird food from the machine. We got an adult size handful. He insisted on throwing it in one tiny piece at a time. He also insisted on standing precariously close to the edge of the pond and throwing the food will all the force he could muster. I just knew he was going to go in the water before the food was gone, but thankfully he didn't.  However, it took him so ridiculously long to finish that every other member of the class had long since moved on. I reminded myself that it didn't matter if he took his joy in the same activities as his peers.

After the pond, Boo's next stop was the rope web. He remembered it from last year, and was looking forward to climbing on it again. I was thrilled to note how much more coordinated he was on it than he had been last year. And of course, the whole time he was on it, he was pretending to be Spiderman!

After Spiderman finished saving the world from evil villains, he moved on to the play area designed to look like a fossil dig site. While the other kids played in the sand pit, using shovels and brushes to unearth the buried "bones," Boo was climbing back and forth along the wall on the edge of the play area. Again, he was so precariously close to the edge that he made me nervous. But I had to laugh when he announced to a group of girls "I'm your friendly neighborhood Spiderman!" Then, after all his classmates had moved on to the next activity, Boo decided he wanted to get into the sand pit and "find" fossils. I felt bad that he always seemed to be three steps behind his peers at every turn. But he didn't seem to mind.

Spiderman hard at work protecting the playground from the Green Goblin

After a quick walk through the couple animal exhibits that were actually open (there's a lot of construction projects going on that have a part of the zoo closed off), it was time to make our way to the bathrooms for potty breaks and hand washing before lunch. At this point, Boo suddenly became obsessed with the fact that there was sand in his shoes, and between his toes. By the time I had coaxed him to the bathroom, all the other kids and parents had already finished. Boo chose a stall, and I entered it with him, holding my hands over his ears while he used the toilet. Then after he washed his hands, I lifted him up and helped him wash the sand from between his toes. Of course, we had to wash the shoes too, and get everything completely dry. By the time we left the bathroom, everyone else was already out of the zoo and halfway through eating their lunch in the park.

We arrived at the park and Boo took a seat next to Little Britches. While the other moms encouraged their kids to finish their ham and cheese sandwiches and fruit, I was content for Boo to eat his Ritz crackers and giant chocolate muffin. He guzzled his bottle of water then took off for the playground. I chatted with some other moms, then went to snap some more pictures. Soon it was time to leave the park and head for the next part of the day. Boo was very distraught. He wanted to play with the bigger kids from another school that had just arrived. In truth, the real problem was that he was hot and tired and hadn't eaten very well all day. Plus he was already overstimulated by all that we had done so far that day. It was a long walk back to the car and he wasn't interested in walking. So yes, this mama was seen carrying a four foot tall, fifty-two pound boy across the park. Yes, it killed my back. Yes, it was babying him. But hey, no one had to endure a full-on meltdown at the park because I knew better than to push him when he was in that state. I made it to the edge of the parking lot before I felt like I was going to fall over, so I told him that was as far as I could carry him, and I had him walk the rest of the way to the car. This took five times longer than it should because of his newest obsession. You know how they use tar to coat the cracks that appear in a parking lot? Boo must follow along these winding black lines to get across. Woe to the man or woman who tries to stop him!

By the time we got to the car, we were both hot, tired and sweaty. We were already almost the last ones to leave because he had taken so much time, but I knew that we wouldn't make it much longer if I didn't get him something to drink. So we stopped at a convenience store. We had to go a bit out of the route because there really wasn't anyplace that was on the way. So by the time we arrived at the next destination, the greenhouse, the rest of the group was already beginning the tour. They were still standing at the very first stop on the tour, but that didn't matter. Boo was so bothered by the fact that he "missed the beginning of the teaching" that he refused to move up front with the rest of the kids. If he couldn't see the entire tour start to finish, he didn't want to see any. Instead, he insisted on staying in the very back of the group with The Boo Whisperer. She was bringing up the rear because she was pushing her daughter in a stroller. Instead of pushing him and insisting he stay in front with the kids, or worrying about him "missing" something...I let it be. What difference did it make if he learned about vegetables, annuals, perennials, and cacti? I can teach him that at home in our garden. He was happy. And by the time the tour was over, and it was time to "plant" a geranium to take home, he was willing to participate because he hadn't been pressured to do something he was uncomfortable with.

After that, it was time for everyone to head home. So, that was our field trip. It didn't look like everyone else's. We tended to always be two or three steps behind the group. But it was close. We had a ton of fun. Boo was happy. And what else matters? I kind of felt like those old anti-drug campaign commercials. This is your field trip...this is your field trip on Autism. LOL. I was proud of boo for keeping his composure even during some difficult moments. I was proud of myself for not pushing him past his ability to cope, and for letting go of the mentality that says he needs to do what all the other kids do. It may not have looked like everyone else's field trip, but it was perfectly Boo. Fun, happy, beautiful, unique, and just a bit off-center.

Cupcakes: A Step-By-Step Guide, With Pictures

How to make cupcakes

Step 1: Empty the bag of cake mix in the bowl.

Step 2: Touch and feel the part you spilled on the counter. Investigate the sensation.

Step 3: Carefully measure the oil and water, and add them to the bowl. (Boo did all the reading of the instructions on the box, figured out by himself to which line he needed to fill it, poured slowly and stopped at the exact right moment. I was stunned.)

Step 4: Take out an egg, tap it against the edge of the counter, and gently pull apart.

Be careful not to get any shell in the bowl.

Poke a finger into the yolk and see how it feels. (Boo cracked all three eggs completely unassisted and didn't make any messes. He didn't even break any yolks. Well, not while cracking them anyway.)

Step 5: Having add all the ingredients, turn the mixer on speed number one. Be sure to move it all around the bowl. When it touches the sides, it will feel very bumpy! (Mom may have to finish the last minute because too much of that bumpy feeling is uncomfortable.)

Step 6: Line muffin tins with baking cups. Blue of course. (Is there any other color?)

Step 7: Use a large spoon to scoop batter into each baking cup. Each one gets three scoops.

Step 8: After mom sets the pans in the oven, set the timer for 15 minutes. Then spend that time playing PBS kids on the computer and eating wavy cut potato chips.


Tomorrow is the big day! Boo's birthday party! I will try to get party pics up soon, but I'm betting I'll be too pooped to do it tomorrow. LOL Wish us luck!