Boo's School

Pikachu looks on as Boo approaches the lane.

It's a long story. Long, difficult, and painful. And it's not mine to tell. If ever Boo decides to tell it, then I will support him. Until then, I will protect his privacy. So let's just say.....It's been a long hard road the last few weeks. It's been messy, scary, sad, confusing, and exhausting. And unfortunately, the struggle was not confined to home. It seeped into school. There were witnesses. 

These are the moments that tear at a mother's heart. I know how cruel kids can be. I remember school. I watch the news. But Boo's friends...the culture at Boo's school...it's different. Boo attends a small private christian school. Despite everything, there has never been a cruel word, a laugh, a joke, a sideways glance, that made him feel less than accepted and loved. Quite the opposite. Day after day I have entered the school with Boo and heard a chorus of happy voices welcoming him. I've walked down the hall past a doorway and heard excited murmurs after students saw me pass by, wondering whether he was back. I've watched at recess, as a friend made a point to sit next to Boo and chat with him when he didn't participate in the game others were playing. 

Most every day, Boo carries with him one of his plush stuffed toys. Characters from the Mario Brothers franchise or Pokemon, usually. The other students not only tolerate this unusual coping strategy, but they welcome it. They interact with the character, and with Boo "through" the character. The teachers allow Luigi or Bowser or Bunnelby to sit atop Boo's desk during class and to be carried through the halls. It's seamless, ordinary, normal.  Boo has a niche here. He belongs. He isn't like the rest. He doesn't talk sports. He isn't up on the latest dance craze or pop music favorite. But he is loved. He is included. He is missed when he isn't there. 

Today I attended a field trip with Boo and his entire school. We went bowling and then out for pizza. I watched his friends chat with him. I watched as he carefully placed his Pikachu just so, perched so that it could "watch" him bowl. I watched him dance free and silly and carefree to the music playing (much too loudly) in the alley. I watched him make Pikachu dance. I soaked it all in with a grateful heart. No one, from kindergartner to eighth grader, seemed to see anything about Boo that was less than they are. Different...but not less. These kids are defying the stereotypes. They are learning so much more than math, science, reading, and history. They are learning to live out the faith they profess. The love of Christ is truly in all that they do, and all that they are. And for that, I grow more thankful every passing day.

Boo, Moses, and the Gospel

Last night at bedtime Boo and I were reading bible stories. We are reading out of two different bible story books right now. One is very simplistic and one is closer to the original language of the bible. From the first, more advanced one we read part of the story of creation. When we got the the part about the seventh day, and how God made it holy, I stopped to check for understanding. He did not know what the word holy means. I explained that it means set apart, made different than the others. Then I asked him what was different about the seventh day. I got the blank stare. Then I rephrased the question.
"What did God do on the first six days?"
"He made all the things in the world."
"And what did he do on the seventh day?"
"He took a rest."
"So what is different about the seventh day that makes it holy?"
"God rested."

We moved on to the other story book where we picked up from our previous reading about Moses. We read about Moses growing up in the palace, then running away, then seeing the burning bush. When God spoke to Moses he told him to remove his shoes because the ground was holy ground. I paused again to check for understanding. Again, we discussed the meaning of the word holy. I asked him what was different about that particular ground where Moses was that made it holy. He thought and studied the picture. His response was "It was made of sand instead of sidewalk." I bit my lip, stifled my giggle, and continued.
"Well, that's one thing that's different. But what special thing happened in that place?"
"God talked to Moses."
"That's right!"

We also talked about how we would feel if God showed up and talked to us. Then we went on with the story. When Moses approached Pharaoh (In this book described as "the mean king") and told him that God said to let the Israelites go, it really bothered Boo that the king said no. He couldn't understand why the king would be mean to the Israelites, why he wouldn't listen to God. His tender heart shone through as he pointed to the picture in the book and traced his finger down from the top of the page onto the face of the angry looking Egyptian king, and he spoke the simplest, most sincere gospel message I think I have ever heard. "He needs God's love."

Boo's First Day of Kindergarten!

The night before Boo's big day, I was a nervous wreck. Ok, the whole day. Ok. Week. FINE....MONTH! Sheesh! Thankfully, I was the only one showing signs of anxiety. I packed up his lunchbox with a large variety of items, not knowing what he would be willing to eat come lunch time. I sent peanut butter, sandwich crackers, graham crackers, fruity cheerios, a granola bar, fruit snacks, a blueberry muffin, yogurt, and a Capri Sun. I set it in the fridge and went to bed...and tossed and turned.

The next morning, when it was time to wake him, he did not want to get out of bed. He informed me that he did not need school, and he would just sleep all day. This is the same kid who woke me up at 5:30 am just the day before! I tried everything I could think of to motivate him...finally I stumbled upon just the right thing. I reminded him that his backpack was filled with his supplies for school, and I told him that one of the pencils I had put in his pencil box had SPIDERMAN on it! I invited him to come with me and check out the pencil, and that was all it took. We looked at all his pencils, repacked his backpack, and put on his favorite Spiderman outfit. After that, it was all I could do to keep him in the house long enough to get my shoes on and grab my keys. He was on his way!

It was a thirty minute drive to his school. My stomach was churning. About halfway there, he suddenly announced "I don't want you there." I assured him that I wasn't planning to stay, just to walk him to his classroom and get him settled. He rebuffed me. "I know where my classroom is, Mom." So I just told him that I needed to talk with Mrs. W and he was satisfied. We arrived at the school and Boo marched right in the front door without even checking to see if I was with him.

Just inside the door sat a lovely lady, Mrs. M, whose sole responsibility at school is to greet each child as they enter, give them a hug and greet them with the heart-felt words "God loves you and so do I, have a great day." She has been doing this as a loving volunteer for many years. She is 90 years old, and the kindest soul. Boo seemed a little distrustful of her eagerness and turned down the offer of a hug. But when she told me that she offers them to parents also, I gladly accepted. I told her I really needed one that day. And I did!

Each year Mrs. W chooses a different theme for her classroom for the year. This year's theme is Whales: We Have a Loving, Everlasting Savior. There are whales everywhere! Beginning here, outside the classroom, and all over the place inside. It looks totally awesome. We entered the room and Boo began to wander around happily. He was checking everything out, just doing his own thing. When he saw the reading area with the big pile of pillows, he could not resist diving right in.

He gazed longingly out at the playground.

He and Mrs. W investigated how dark it is inside the bathroom if you close the door without turning on the light. (She was trying to tell him the importance of remembering to turn on the light switch outside the bathroom before entering, and he assured her that he could see in the dark because of his great eyesight. LOL)

I finally got him focused on the job at hand. Together, we found the desk with his name on it, and filled it with the school supplies from his backpack. When he first opened the top of the desk, his eyes widened and he exclaimed "This is my secret lab! This is where I keep all my things that control my robots!"

Once this was accomplished, there was no putting it off. It was time for me to go. I had to leave my baby in his kindergarten classroom for an entire day. I took a deep breath, gave him a kiss, and said goodbye. I walked to the door, looked back across the class, and choked back tears. There sat my Boo in his big kid chair at his big kid desk in his big kid school. I was SO NOT READY for this! But he was. It was clear he was ready. He barely took notice that I was leaving. I walked out into the hallway and found some other mothers and staff out there who chatted with me. I wanted to run out the door and let out the sobs that were pushing at my throat. Another mother of a child in Boo's class joined the conversation, and she asked me if I was still in the room when Boo made his announcement. Mental head slap...oh boy. I said I hadn't been, and asked what he said. She told me he had stood and informed the class that whales are actually called orcas, and that they are really a type of dolphin. Yep, not even five minutes into the first day and he was trying to lead the class. That is the Boo that I know and love!

Soon it was time for chapel. The students begin the day with chapel every Wednesday, and the parents were invited to join. I waited in the lunch room so that Boo could go with his class and not be distracted by seeing me. I came into the sanctuary and he was seated so still and quietly with his class that I had to do a double take.

I sat in the back and swallowed back tears as they began the morning by singing these songs:

At the end of the chapel service, the children were asked to meet out front for class pictures. Oh boy. I did not expect this on the very first day. I had not prepared Boo. He hates having his picture taken. He almost always refuses to cooperate. I hung back and watched him go out with his class, hoping that going with the crowd would work in our favor. Sure enough, by the time I got outside, he was posing pleasantly with the other kids. His combined kindergarten/1st grade class is composed of eight girls and two boys. They are all totally adorable. After the class pictures I hugged him one more time and wished him a good day. Then I told him to go back to class with his friends. He walked down the sidewalk hand in hand with Mrs. W, never so much as glancing back toward me. I sighed. Then I thought again of this sign hanging just inside the front door:

And I knew that my Boo was in exactly the right place.

So...Um...Yeah. This Was Our Bedtime Discussion.

Boo: "Mom, when are we going to have a baby?"
Me: "A baby?"
"Yeah. A baby that we can keep and take care of. Can we have one?"
"Well, I don't know about that. It takes a long time to get a baby."
"I know. We can get one from Mammo's house. Or Grams's."
"Well, they don't have any babies. Babies are made in their mom's tummy."
"I know that. So I want to have one when we wake up."
"It takes nine months for a baby to grow and be ready to be born! Why do you want us to have a baby?"
"So that we can have another kid."
"Well, that's something that you're going to have to talk to God about. It's up to God to decide if we have any more babies."
"Can you talk to God about that for me right now?"
"Sure. Dear God, thank you for this wonderful day. Thank you for our field trip, and all the fun we had with our friends. And God, Boo would like for our family to have a baby. Will you please let us know if that's something you want us to do? In Jesus' name we pray, Amen. And Boo, you can talk to God yourself too. You can tell him about anything you want. And if you don't want to talk to him out loud, it's OK. You can just think your prayers, and God will hear them."
"He will?"
"Uh huh. He knows every thought you think, and every feeling you feel."
(Boo makes a series of faces, sad, angry, laughing, confused...)
"Did He know what I was thinking Mom? Did He hear me?"
"Yes he did."
(Boo lays quietly, looking serious for a few minutes)
"Mom, who's that girl who died in a car accident?"
"That's your sister. Her name is Sissy."
"I asked God if He would come to the earth and make Sissy be alive again."
"And He will do that someday, we just don't know when. It might be very soon, or it might be when we are very old."
"Yeah."

Tenebrae

Tonight I took Boo to the Good Friday Tenebrae Service. If you have never attended one of these, I highly recommend it! It is possibly my most favorite service of the entire year, right up there with Christmas and Easter. The goal of this service is to punctuate the seriousness of our sin and the importance of Christ's sacrifice, as well as communicating the emotional state of Good Friday. It is certainly not a joyous feel good service, but it is one of the most moving. It stirs me to the depths of my soul.

One of the main aspects of a Tenebrae Service is the quietness with which the service is conducted. And at the conclusion everyone is supposed to leave the sanctuary and the church in silence, without greeting one another. This was quite interesting because telling Boo not to talk is like telling him not to breathe! When he is awake he is almost constantly talking. He prattles incessantly. At church the best we can usually do is to get him to whisper, but even that is more of a stage whisper. Normally this is not an issue, as his sound is drowned out by all that is happening in church. But tonight, the stillness and the silence and the darkness in the sanctuary was an altogether different experience.

The alter and pulpit were clothed in plain black, and all the beautiful golden crosses and adornments were absent. The large wooden cross which stands at the front of the church during lent was draped in black and topped with a thorny crown. At the start of service there were lit six simple white candles and in the center one larger candle to represent Christ. Near the end of the service, Pastor began reading the Passion story from the book of John. The reading was split into seven sections, and after each section, the congregation sang a verse of the hymn O Sacred Head Now Wounded and then one candle was extinguished and part of the lights were turned off. After the last reading, all the lights were off and the center "Christ Candle" was removed from the sanctuary. Everyone sat in silence considering the story they had just heard. Then a loud noise reverberated through the sanctuary, symbolizing the sealing of the tomb. After a few moments, the Christ Candle was returned and just enough lights turned on to be able to see our way out. Everyone rose and left the church in silence. That silence was more piercing than the loudest sound I ever heard. I left the church with the most solemn and reverent feeling.

The post that I had planned to write for today seems somehow unimportant. My heart and mind are focused on the bitter sacrifice of my Savior. My sincere plan for you this Easter weekend is that you would have not only a knowledge of the events we celebrate, but by the Grace of God that you would have a saving faith. Jesus gave himself up for us, even when we were still in our sin, that we might have a relationship with God and be granted his Grace and Salvation. Only by faith in Jesus can we receive this free gift. Let us focus our hearts on the Love of the Lord this weekend. Because bunnies and eggs are fabulous fun (and we shall enjoy them) but empty tomb of Jesus that first Easter morning is the greatest joy that has ever been known to mankind.

Hallelujah, He is risen indeed!